GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
