They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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