Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
