By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
