So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
