I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
