Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
