I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
