I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
