so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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