If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
nutella sex= disaster
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
