I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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