Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
