I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
