is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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