I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
