I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
They are going to name an STD after you.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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