..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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