So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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