I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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