I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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