Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
