My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Found your dick twin last night
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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