her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
