Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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