Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter http://tfl.nu/3hf7
  Replies (128) Good night (2750) Bad night (3958)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too. http://tfl.nu/1n8l
  Replies (13) Good night (1072) Bad night (3643)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a beautiful day for a hangover

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): It's a beautiful day for a hangover http://tfl.nu/x1e7
  Replies (32) Good night (4579) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed http://tfl.nu/8ny3
  Replies (33) Good night (622) Bad night (3555)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes... http://tfl.nu/9zzk
  Replies (70) Good night (1361) Bad night (11480)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again. http://tfl.nu/54yy
  Replies (18) Good night (2111) Bad night (6423)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure. http://tfl.nu/ruyi
  Replies (10) Good night (6153) Bad night (1843)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before. http://tfl.nu/yrqt
  Replies (82) Good night (9574) Bad night (1397)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover http://tfl.nu/a65k
  Replies (13) Good night (2931) Bad night (1269)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely http://tfl.nu/gogl
  Replies (4) Good night (3196) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller http://tfl.nu/mw3b
  Replies (6) Good night (1348) Bad night (2307)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me. http://tfl.nu/e3cl
  Replies (33) Good night (1031) Bad night (5157)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Pencil dick carries the name proudly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Pencil dick carries the name proudly. http://tfl.nu/iir6
  Replies (5) Good night (305) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over. http://tfl.nu/xbhh
  Replies (1) Good night (835) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick http://tfl.nu/7fc7
  Replies (11) Good night (792) Bad night (823)

Randomize