Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
