Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.

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  (402): Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES. http://tfl.nu/mubn
  Replies (11) Good night (1663) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?

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  (707): so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal? http://tfl.nu/w2t0
  Replies (27) Good night (1073) Bad night (3255)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.

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  (516): Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door. http://tfl.nu/5od7
  Replies (11) Good night (4482) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well

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  (410): sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well http://tfl.nu/vcbo
  Replies (27) Good night (834) Bad night (4869)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree

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  (561): Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree http://tfl.nu/oe6w
  Replies (32) Good night (8088) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.

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  (917): Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th. http://tfl.nu/pukg
  Replies (8) Good night (4302) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia

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  (248): i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia http://tfl.nu/d416
  Replies (7) Good night (1539) Bad night (4355)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week

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  (901): I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week http://tfl.nu/o67r
  Replies (2) Good night (3559) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset

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  (562): I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset http://tfl.nu/nrla
  Replies (6) Good night (3229) Bad night (1264)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.

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  (213): there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/2p84
  Replies (11) Good night (2704) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.

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  (831): high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth. http://tfl.nu/l561
  Replies (3) Good night (1628) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  Yes and yes

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  (920): Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend? (1-920): Yes and yes http://tfl.nu/cdzo
  Replies (5) Good night (2195) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.

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  (219): The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover. http://tfl.nu/mbl4
  Replies (3) Good night (403) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.

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  (519): We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars. http://tfl.nu/3me1
  Replies (8) Good night (934) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die

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  (585): My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die http://tfl.nu/girq
  Replies (2) Good night (507) Bad night (358)

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