so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles