using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
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you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
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is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.