Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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