yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
