At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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