I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
