this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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