dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
