Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Green mimosas i think yes
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
