I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
