i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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