So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
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You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
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I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My life is pants optional.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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