i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
where are you?
Hypothermia
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
