You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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