Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
