he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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