I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
