So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
