I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
