I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
