Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize