; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
