Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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