Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
