I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
