I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
