I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
