He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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