We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
be right there i have to get my cape
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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