Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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