when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we made out on top of his cat.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
