5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This house was built for laser tag.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
