Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
