jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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