Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize