i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
