idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I wear drunk well.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize