if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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