Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
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May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave