You smell like stripper and shame
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize